Last Homecoming Dance

Tonight is the night of the NDHS homecoming dance. Emily went to her first homecoming game freshman year, but has not gone to the dances. She missed the game because of SAT testing this morning, but as I write is at the mall with her Dad picking out a "western" outfit for tonight's dance. I am happy she is going single, because I'm proud of her decision to put off "relationship drama" until after her freshman year of college.

And so the transition begins...a series of "lasts"... last locker day... last first day of school ... last dance... last musical ... last time to update the varsity jacket (I need to do that for last year still!). And a season of firsts. First deadline for college applications to the UC colleges this month! First college visit (except for Brown for the pre-college program). First goodbyes...

Emily is singing a song for the musical "Into the Woods" in which she is cast as Rapunzel. She tells me it is about a mother and daughter separating, and that she must hear it with me before the show or we both won't be able to stop crying.

At least she is sensitive to my feelings during this transition. It would be harder, I think, if she were unaware of my struggle. She tells me she struggles, too. She tells me she is afraid of going off on her own -- excited! But afraid.

I wonder if I can post a photo on this blog? If I can, I'll post a photo of her on the way to the dance.

Now what?

I created this blog to show a friend how easy it is to have a blog! Now I need to decide how I want to use it. Maybe I will blog the journey I'm about to undertake with my younger daughter, my baby. We have been SO close all of her life, and now we are getting her ready to send off to college. I feel like my whole identity is about to be thrown into a whirl! First, I lost my ability to work through a random accident which fractured my back. That was 14 years ago. Four spinal fusions later I am fused T10-L5 and C3-C7. That's a lot of fusion. I live with constant pain, and memory loss from the medications. It CAN be a bummer, but I have focused on my identities as wife, mother, artist and friend. I have been VERY lucky in love. My husband, Liam, and I have just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. We've been married more than half of our lives, and I wouldn't change it for the world. I'm currently reading the book (with my daughter Emily, who is leaving) called, "I'll Miss You, Too." It is by a mother and daughter, Margo E. Bane Woodacre, MSW, and Stephanie Bane. I'll write about how that is as I write about this journey. It's kind of funny, Emily called my COUNSELOR - she was breaking an appointment for her sister, Shannon, and she TOLD the therapist that she and I would be needing some sessions because she was leaving home and she did not think this was going to be a NORMAL transition! She wants to be an art therapist when she is finished with college, no surprise!